Monthly Newsletter February Volume 2
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How do you explain ADHD to someone who doesn’t have it?
Did you know that had Einstein, one of the greatest inventers of all time with huge intelligence, been born at this time, he would have been diagnosed ADHD?!
I, Michelle Shavdia, 39 years old, am on a mission to raise awareness into the still misunderstood and stigmatised condition of ADHD, breaking it down one myth at a time such as people with ADHD are not intelligent.
I recently spoke on the panel at an event in London for a fantastic charity called Digital Boost who have been supporting and helping me this past year. It was well attended, organised and good energy. I wanted to share what I spoke about regarding my entrepreneurial journey with the audience of start-up entrepreneurs as it may help others too. I am also including some excerpts from a newspaper article I wrote to give further information into ADHD:
‘I took the brave leap of faith to become self-employed in 2011 and set up my business Find Your Spark soon thereafter. I did this through choice as I really wanted to use my skills to coach and support at risk young people and the job I was in, was not suited to my strengths. Also, as is unfortunately the case due to us living in a world that is not quite set up for those who are neurodivergent still (which I did not realise I was at the time), I was not a great employee as I didn’t like to being told what to do as I had my own innovative, creative ideas that I wanted to put into place, which my employers weren’t so keen on!!!
So, I resigned from this job and started a Masters in Coaching Psychology at University for three years from 2012-2015 after having done a Psychology degree.
One of my greatest wins, which in part was due to the support I received from Digital Boost, has been taking the brave leap of faith for a second time to specialise in being an ADHD coach, which I started full time this year. This followed on from having supported young people with ADHD in 2018-2019 not knowing that I had ADHD myself!! I received my own late ADHD diagnosis in 2021 at 37 years old after years of not knowing what was going on with my brain that made me so different to my peers.
I now specialise in the condition of ADHD and am supporting those with and without ADHD one to one and in groups so they can manage living in a neurotypical world better. I understand just how difficult it can be and the problems that come with having this condition despite there certainly being strengths as well.
There are still many misconceptions about ADHD. One of these is that having ADHD means you don’t have enough attention and therefore are unable to concentrate. The fact is people with ADHD have TOO much attention and notice EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE, ALL AT ONCE (much like the Oscar winning film of that name!!).
One way to describe ADHD is like having squiggles in the brain firing off in all directions, which is what makes it that much harder to concentrate. But when we ARE focused on something that we are REALLY interested in, we can be known to hyper focus on it, much to the neglect of everything else around us (there have been countless times I have forgotten to eat as I have been so engrossed in what I am doing!!!)
ADHD isn’t something we grow out of; it doesn’t go away, and it is not something to be fixed. Rather it is something to be managed and given ADHD is now thought to affect 6% of the population, it is important people understand what it is. There are currently 110,000 people waiting for an ADHD assessment and the average waiting time is between 3-10 years. So, the current system is not working clearly.
In business, as in life, we face challenges and let downs. I have faced many and this year there were two that knocked me off my feet a bit and set me back somewhat. However, I now see these setbacks as lessons and challenges to overcome. Whilst disappointing I am now grateful for them as I truly believe that whatever is meant for you, won’t go past you so focus your energy on your interests, passions and what flows and don’t worry so much about things that don’t.
People with ADHD tend to experience imposter syndrome daily despite the qualifications, professional experiences, and accolades. This is because they have spent much of their life, particularly if they are late diagnosed with ADHD, being told that they are mad, bad, crazy, lazy and stupid and compared to your peers and told, ‘why can’t you just be like them?!’ If you are told something enough times, you will begin to believe it. Even at this Digital Boost event I felt like an imposter before, during and afterwards and yet I was invited to speak at it!!! The way I overcome this now is to focus on what has worked well for you and the successes you have had and use that to motivate and drive you forward. Share this with others and don’t think it is boastful as on the whole, people love celebrating and helping people as not only can it make them feel good doing so but also it can inspire them to improve their lives. We all just human beings having an experience through life so it’s important just to do your best and believe in yourself and the rest will fall into place.
Here are some techniques I have learnt to stay motivated and keep my growth mindset through the challenging moments:
- Remember to focus on what you can control and don’t worry about what is out of your control.
- Do your best to not compare yourself to others and just focus on what is for you / your lane.
- And if its too much, just take a break and come back to it after going for a walk in nature listening to a podcast or having a nap/sleep. You will get through this even the challenging times, just have faith and know everything works out as its meant to so be your authentic self, be a good person and don’t sweat the stuff you wont remember in a year from now.
If you would like to learn more about ADHD, what it is and how best to manage it, get in touch by email or phone. We have two groups coming up for adults with ADHD and family members who wish to learn more on how best to support it. Or if you prefer one to one, we offer ADHD coaching. Here are the Eventbrite links to book onto a group:
ADHD Awareness Group – Tuesday 30 January, 7pm-9pm (Colchester) Buy One Get One Free Offer for £40 till end of December. Then Buy One Get One free till end of January for £60.
Alternatively email [email protected] and she will send you further details. Further details can be found at www.findyourspark.co.uk and @FindYourSparkADHD on Instagram.
We look forward to hearing from and meeting you in due course!!!
What are the positives of having ADHD? Living in a neurotypical world when you are not a neurotypical girl series.
Following on from Sam Thompson winning ITV’s ‘Celebrity Get me out of Here’, where he was praised for shining a light on his ADHD, this article will explore the positives of having ADHD. Sam Thompson shared with Marvin and Josie Gibson, saying how he was ‘not ashamed’ of the condition and that he hopes by talking about it, it can raise awareness.
I, Michelle Shavdia, 39 years old, am on a mission to also raise awareness into this still misunderstood and stigmatised condition of ADHD, breaking it down one myth at a time.
One of the biggest misconceptions about having ADHD is that the condition itself is negative and that having it makes you a mad, bad, lazy, crazy, evil person. As shown by Sam Thompson so beautifully whilst he was in the Australian jungle, this could not be further from the truth. Sam Thompson demonstrated to the public all the positives of having ADHD. Being charming, engaging, entertaining, fun, excitable, enthusiastic, with a can-do attitude and positive energy. Yes, he may have forgotten to do some things such as keep an eye on the rice (I blame Nigel for this to be honest), not been able to take in instructions and may have been ‘messy’ however the positives far outweigh these things.
It breaks my heart when I hear children and young people say that they ‘hate having ADHD’ and that there is ‘something wrong with them/their brain.’ There is nothing wrong with them, their brain is just wired differently and it now my mission to help spread this message and reduce the stigma and discrimination those with ADHD feel based on the misconceptions people have.
I now specialise in the condition of ADHD as an ADHD coach and am supporting those with and without ADHD one to one and in groups so they can manage living in a neurotypical world better. I understand just how difficult it can be to live in a world that is not set up for your brain and way of being and the problems that come with that. ADHD coaching is practical intervention that specifically targets ADHD executive function issues and working memory and emotional regulation issues. These include supporting planning, time management, decision making and organisation. ADHD coaching is also useful to help those with ADHD understand their brains better.
If you would like to learn more about ADHD, what it is and how best to manage it, get in touch by email or phone. I offer a free 20-minute phone call which you can book via [email protected] and then there are many options, the main ones being:
- One to one ADHD coaching, which we can deliver online or in person.
- ADHD Awareness group, next one is on 30th January 7-9 pm and is BUY ONE GET ONE FREE FOR £40 till 31st December and £60 BUY GET ONE FREE thereafter.
Come join us to learn how to cope with ADHD and learn skills and strategies that works for you in all areas of your life as part of a supportive group of likeminded, non-judgemental people. This is for those who are diagnosed, awaiting diagnosis or simply curious as well as for family members who would like to know how best to support their loved one with ADHD.
Further details can be found at www.findyourspark.co.uk and @FindYourSparkADHD on Instagram or @FindYourSpark on Facebook.
We look forward to hearing from and meeting you in due course!!!
Monthly Newsletter February Volume 1
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Monthly Newsletter January
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ADHD Coping Skills and Self-Harm Tips
October is ADHD Awareness month and rather ironically it coincides with a global ADHD medication shortage!! And what seems to be a rise in self-harm cases. All fun and games in this world!!!
There are some other ways to cope with ADHD that do not involve medication which some people swear by and give a similar feeling albeit not quite the same:
One is nature and I certainly know when I spend time in nature, I certainly feel more alive, at ease and grounded/centred.
Another is creativity and doing something that sparks joy for you, which can help you feel more alive and present.
And rhythmic drumming (see September’s blog) has been found to help with attention and focus.
And then there is exercise. Premedication I used to exercise excessively as it was the only way to calm and soothe my nervous system down. And when I say excessively it would be going to the gym twice a day or walking for four hours a day!!! You might think this was healthy, but it wasn’t as due to not having adequate executive functioning, I was actually unable to STOP exercising/walking and it became addictive for me!!!
I have learnt a lot since then and medication has helped me with that (I don’t walk for four hours a day for a start!!) which is why this medication shortage is a disgrace really and not acceptable. For some people it is life and death taking this medication, so it is not something to take lightly.
These other ways to cope with ADHD are shared within the groups I run and the one-to-one ADHD coaching sessions I deliver, which don’t involve walking for four hours a day (!!!) but include:
- movement, specifically walking for 30 minutes per day is good for the ADHD brain
- bouncing and swaying help the ADHD brain.
- Some form of meditation be it guided, visualisation or somatic e.g. Qi Qong
With regards to the rise in self-harm, which is a concern and is caused by many different factors, one sure fire way to reduce and prevent this is a healthy lifestyle. Encouraging healthy lifestyle changes, self-care and supporting individuals in achieving this have been proven self-harm prevention strategies. The healthier a person’s lifestyle is, the less at risk they are of developing negative thoughts. And vice versa.
Given it is ADHD Awareness month, I have two groups coming up in October to coincide with this and encouraging self-care and how to prevent self-harm. Special rates and discounts due to it being ADHD Awareness month:
- ADHD Self-care and coping skills session for adults with ADHD. This takes place on Wednesday 18 October 7-9 pm and is a small group (6-8) run in Stanway, Colchester. Limited spaces available. Deadline to book is 16 October via this link: ADHD Self-Care Group
- On Tuesday 31 October from 7-9 pm I am running the informative ‘ADHD brain and me’ awareness session again, where you will learn everything, you need to about ADHD, how to cope with it and how to build a system that works for you in all areas of your life. We’ll be covering the history, the science, the process and figuring out your system to manage it. This is for those who are diagnosed, self-diagnosed, awaiting diagnosis or simply curious as well as family members. It’s usually £49 but given its ADHD Awareness month, you can get it for £39 for the month of October. Deadline to book is 27 October via this link: ADHD Awareness Group
Email [email protected] with any questions. Further details on these sessions and one to one ADHD coaching can be found at www.findyourspark.co.uk or visit @FindYourSparkADHD on Instagram
NEW COURSE ALERT– I am also intending to run an adult ADHD support group. If this is something you would be interested in attending, please email [email protected] to express interest. We look forward to hearing from and meeting you in due course!!!
ADHD Coaching and Self-Care
A question I hear often is ‘why is ADHD so common these days? And I also hear, ‘in my day, hardly anyone had ADHD, now it’s as if everyone has ADHD!!’ So let me fill you in on the reason to why that may be. This is the case because, in the past, ADHD was thought to be only something hyper boys who could not sit still had and it was also thought that ADHD was something you grew out of, therefore adults would not have ADHD. As a result of this inaccuracy, those who as children did not present as a hyper boy but DID have ADHD, are only being assessed for it now as an adult. Hence the NHS is having to play catch up and assess/diagnose adults who ought to have been diagnosed as a child.
I am now on a mission to raise awareness into the still massively misunderstood condition of ADHD. This follows on from my own ADHD diagnosis two years ago. My hope is that in the future ADHD is perceived less like a disorder and more like the genetic difference that it is and understood and accepted by the neurotypical world. There really is no shame to having ADHD. In fact, there are many advantages to the ADHD gene and yet there is still so much stigma. Until this is overcome, I am supporting those with ADHD so they can manage living in a neurotypical world better via groups for parents, adults and professionals and one to one ADHD coaching for children and adults.
There are lots of ways to treat ADHD, more than you may realise. The NHS nice guidelines recommend psychoeducation sessions. Medication. Behaviour management. ADHD Coaching. And self-care. ADHD self-care is different to the stereotypical pampering you may associate with self-care. As briefly follows:
Prior to learning that I had ADHD, I went to learn shamanic drum healing and found it to be beneficial to my brain as it calmed it down and opened me up. Of all the modalities and approaches I have practiced; this one was the one that did the most benefit for me hence why I now would like to share this with others particularly those with ADHD and autism, which I intend to do via the ADHD self-care groups soon. A bit of background on shamanic drum healing. It is a powerful way to shift your energy and transform your life. Scientists have found that 90-minute drumming a week showed better control of their emotions, fewer signs of hyperactivity, inattention, and repetitive behaviours in as little as 8 weeks, which is why it is ideal for those with ADHD and autism. The study, which was co-authored by Dr Ruth Lowry from the University of Essex, found through MRI scans that drumming reveals changes to the brain function linked to overall behaviour and neurological adaptions.
To find out more about ADHD self-care and coping skill strategies, come along to our upcoming ADHD groups to learn more about ADHD and what suits out brains better:
- ADHD Awareness, 26th September, Stanway, Colchester, 7-9pm ADHD Awareness Group Tickets, Tue 26 Sep 2023 at 19:00 | Eventbrite or contact us directly to get 10% off via [email protected]
- ADHD Self-care, 18th October, Stanway, Colchester, 7-9 pm – limited spaces so email [email protected] to enquire/book your space.
- Supporting your ND child, 22nd October, 9.45 am – 12.30 pm, Copford, Self Care Session for ADHD Adults Tickets, Tue 12 Sep 2023 at 19:00 | Eventbrite
These are the best ways to learn a foundational, base level about ADHD and neurodiversity and get to meet me. If you’d like to engage in ADHD Coaching first, that too is an option however I always recommend these groups as a taster so you can have some basic knowledge on ADHD before you engage in more intensive support.
What are the three signs of ADHD? And what are signs of ADHD in girls?
Michelle Shavdia, 39, our resident ADHD spokesperson and founder of Find Your Spark, a Start Up Award finalist, is on a mission to raise awareness into the misunderstood condition of ADHD. This is to help those who have ADHD or suspect they may have as well as those who have a family member, friend, colleague, or client with ADHD. Her reasoning is to prevent the constant hurt that those with ADHD feel through the misunderstanding of others. This ignorance is often not their fault, people are still not aware.
Michelle herself was late diagnosed with ADHD at 37 years old. The reason for the late diagnosis is owing to the commonly erroneous notion, that ADHD is something only ‘hyperactive, naughty boys have’ This led to her being missed and misdiagnosed many times over and this would have been the case for many other females and inattentive males.
The three signs of ADHD are inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. As above, the hyperactive, impulsive presentation is what most people typically think of when they think of ADHD. However, there is also ADD, which is the inattentive type without the hyperactivity. Girls can be more likely to suffer from the inattentive type although this is a generalisation as boys too can suffer from ADD too. This can look like daydreaming, feeling anxious or sad, being ditzy, shy, picking at cuticles on skin and having trouble maintaining friendships.
Michelle is now an ADHD coach and is passionate about creating a society which is more aware, understanding and accepting of neurodivergent differences. She is also incredibly passionate about helping, supporting and making a difference to the lives of her customers and clients. These are parents, young people and adults with ADHD. Find Your Spark was a finalist in the ‘consumer services’ category of the Start Up Awards, 2023 to recognise the work she does with consumers of the Find Your Spark service.
Michelle is sharing the ADHD symptoms and more with the public on July 18 in Colchester and August 20 in Tiptree. Come join us to identify ADHD symptoms, strengths and challenges and develop coping skills.
Please email [email protected] and/or visit www.findyourspark.co.uk for further details.
Testimonials from the last session include: ‘I loved Michelle’s passion and energy and hearing hers and other people’s stories.’
Register for these professional ADHD Coaching sessions via Eventbrite: Copy of ADHD Awareness Group Tickets, Tue 18 Jul 2023 at 19:00 | Eventbrite and this one on August 20 is for parents: Supporting your Neurodiverse Child Tickets, Sun 20 Aug 2023 at 10:00 | Eventbrite.
These will be supportive spaces where you can learn, explore, and receive help. On the back of the sessions we have run thus far, we are looking to run ADHD self-care sessions so please get in touch to express your interest if this would be something you would value.
We look forward to hearing from you and possibly seeing you there!!!
What are the symptoms of ADHD? How getting a diagnosis can really help you find your spark!
Following on from our last edition: Michelle Shavdia, 39 is now our resident ADHD spokesperson and will be sharing tips regularly to help those who have ADHD or think that they may have ADHD as well as those who have a family member, friend, colleague or client with ADHD. It is more common than you think (approximately 2.5 % worldwide but likely much higher) given the past misinformation, which led to adults with the condition only being assessed and diagnosed for it now when it should have occurred when they were children.
Michelle will be giving ADHD hacks and tricks she has picked up that work well for her since being diagnosed with ADHD at 37 years old. She had spent her youth struggling in chaos, self-medicating and often in self-destruct mode due to this undiagnosed brain condition. The reason for the late diagnosis is owing to the commonly erroneous notion, that ADHD is something only ‘naughty boys have’ and something you grow out of! This led to her being missed and misdiagnosed many times over.
Michelle had, despite the odds gone onto become a coaching psychologist and set up the award-winning business ‘Find Your Spark’ to support at risk young people. However, she found both processes difficult and in part had to become self-employed as she struggled with being an employee. She would find basic tasks hard, which led to her to thinking that there was something completely wrong with her! This inability to doing seemingly easy tasks is because, ADHD affects the prefrontal cortex of the brain. This is to do with executive function, working memory and emotional regulation. As a result, the main symptoms of ADHD are inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity.
Michelle, now an ADHD coach, is passionate about raising awareness into this misunderstood condition. She was recently on BBC Essex with Rob Jelly on Tuesday 23rd May from 6-7pm talking about all things ADHD, which you can still listen to via the website www.findyourspark.co.uk The reason for her passion is because ADHD people are nine times more likely to take their own lives due to their heightened emotion and impulsivity traits so it really is important to understand ADHD so we can prevent this from happening.
Whilst there certainly are challenges that come with ADHD to do with organisation, prioritisation, and distraction, there are also lots of strengths. These do not get celebrated and shared enough. A few examples include, creativity, which is what comes from having a messy brain: intuition and innovative problem-solving skills. ADHD people have a can-do, courageous attitude, which certainly helps with entrepreneurialism.
Michelle’s vision is of creating a society which is more aware, understanding and accepting of neurodivergent differences. This is her purpose and spark. “Looking back in hindsight I can see it all as having been necessary pain, for me to be able to empower and transform others especially the next generation. If I can help just one person not suffer the way that I have done, then the pain would have been worthwhile’.
She is sharing all the ADHD symptoms and what she has learnt about ADHD since her diagnosis with the public, with venues booked in Colchester and Tiptree. The dates for these are July 18 and August 20. Please email [email protected] for further details. Testimonials from the last session include: ‘It was brilliant, I feel so much more clued up on what it is and what life is like for someone with it, how it is diagnosed and how it is treated. Best of all, I learnt so many superpowers of ADHD humans!!!’
Visit www.findyourspark.co.uk for further information on this and ADHD Coaching.
Can a person with ADHD still be successful? A late life ADHD diagnosis leads to a BBC Essex interview and Mersea Courier article proves that you can!
Continuing from our last edition: After spending her youth struggling in chaos, Michelle Shavdia, 39, a coaching psychologist from Colchester, set up the award-winning business ‘Find Your Spark’ to support at risk young people. Like a growing number of other adult females, she was diagnosed with ADHD at the late age of 37 years old. Finally, everything made sense for her, she said it was as if a lightbulb had been switched on in her head. The reason for this late diagnosis is due to ADHD misinformation, owing to the commonly erroneous notion, that ADHD is something only ‘naughty boys had’ and something you grew out of! As a result, generations of females have been missed and the NHS was not set up and until 2022 did not have the required level of support offerings available to help adults with ADHD. This has had a massive negative impact on many people here in the UK and globally.
Michelle aims to now improve this situation and raise awareness into this misunderstood condition. There is still so much stigma and misperceptions about what ADHD even is. She was recently on BBC Essex with Rob Jelly on Tuesday 23rd May from 6-7pm talking about all things ADHD, which you can still catch on BBC Sounds till 22nd June: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0fkxxrt . Alternatively, you can find and listen to it here: Positive resources – Find Your Spark
She would like to prove that with an ADHD diagnosis, you can still have a successful life in whatever way success looks like to you as there are many strengths that come with having ADHD. In fact, she believes with ADHD, she is able to create more success for herself than she perhaps would have been able to without it. It would take only one Google search to realise that many successful celebrities in the UK have ADHD such as Richard Branson, Ant McPartlin, Russell Brand, Denise Welch, Nadia Sawalla, Olivia Attwood, Sam Thompson, Sue Perkins and Lily Allen to name just a few.
Getting on the radio and into the newspaper, which can offer several benefits for small businesses, has been a huge success for Michelle who says she ‘felt like she had finally arrived!’ Radio and newspapers remain a popular influential medium reaching a broad audience and providing a unique platform for businesses to promote their products or services so she would encourage businesses to use these forms of marketing too as well as networking such as the Business Women’s Network www.thebusinesswomansnetwork.co.uk
Her vision of creating a society which is more aware, understanding and accepting of neurodivergent differences is her purpose. “Looking back in hindsight I can see it all as having been necessary pain, for me to be able to empower and transform others. If I can help just one person not suffer the way that I have done, then the pain would have been worthwhile’.
Michelle is hosting two upcoming groups to fill the gap she noticed when she was trying to navigate the adult neurodivergent system, which she found to be a minefield. She will be sharing all she has learnt about ADHD since her diagnosis with the public and how you can use ADHD to create more success in your life. Please book via the Eventbrite link: ADHD Awareness Group Tickets, Mon 26 Jun 2023 at 19:00 | Eventbrite or email [email protected] for further details. Alternatively visit the website www.findyourspark.co.uk to see what else she offers one to one and in groups.